A lot of my strengths are also weaknesses. Not a big surprise I’m sure. It seems like that’s the case for everyone. You have a trait and that’s okay. It’s what you DO with that trait that makes it a strength or a weakness.
One of my biggest strengths is my ability to look far ahead of myself and create multiple plans of action. I have a knack for ‘foreseeing’ problems and having an approach mechanism that prevents most major catastrophes. Some side effects and problems with that? I’m anal retentive. I have a hard time accepting ‘go with the flow’. I’m so driven and so focused that the inevitable happens. I destroy myself. A mistake happens (as they always do) and I’m left discouraged that I’m not superwoman.
Lately I’ve been feeling sick. First physically sick, I had a week of feverish symptoms and the last two weeks have felt like an uphill battle for slow recovery (and trying to not gain weight!). Secondly, as a indirect result, my mental health has been slipping. I’ve not been admitted into any ‘institutions’ YET, but you know what I mean. Those feelings of discouragement start to roll in and then it’s a downward spiral of fear and insecurity that you may never get back on track. That’s how I feel anyway.
So where do I start? I find all my problems can either be fixed or at least alleviated by good diet management. You are what you eat right?
What does this have to do with my strength/weakness of planning? I KNOW these little spells are going to happen. I KNOW that sometimes I’m going to want to eat only for the sake of eating. I’m a binger.. I know this all too well. So in an attempt to control myself (management/control is another strength/mostly weakness), I create my food ahead of time. I plan meals when I have energy and when I’m excited about life.
Each weekend I make a trip to the big supermarket and get a whole bunch of stuff I can make ahead. I do this usually on Sunday and then divide everything out into 5 or 6 containers. During the week, I get up in the morning and I throw everything in a bag and run to work.
But I wonder a lot – is this repetition killing my awareness? I feel that because its a habit, I don’t think about it. So is it bad that EVERYDAY this weak I’m eating the same amount of roasted white and sweet potatoes, brown rice breakfast cereal, carrot soup, a slice of ‘colonial bread’, etc etc etc? What if I’m missing tons of vital nutrients (particularly this week I see A LOT of nutrition holes…)
My first inclination was to say, “Okay, so just start making food each day and not ahead of time.” Rejected… Too many variables as to why that wouldn’t work. It all comes down to resources mainly. Time, energy, space, and money. Things like sharing a fridge with a roommate (in June I start sharing a regular sized fridge with THREE other girls..), a weekly budget of approximately 35 dollars, a full time internship and two volunteering commitments that require both on site and off site work (I also start graduate school in July), and some days I’m just too tired to make smart choices.
Okay, I’ve rambled on enough :) Now YOU!!!
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom? I know that many of you have families and so situations are quiet different for a single student, but I know most of you have a trick or two up your sleeves!
What are some ways that you would or DO remedy this marriage of convenience and healthy variety?
Do you have a system for making food ahead of time that keeps you healthy at the same time?